What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Short story writers, what is your favorite character you've created and do they appear in more than one of your works?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

HELLO

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Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

{RING} {RING}

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Sure no problem officer.

Isn't it unfortunate for the Democrats that we Republicans are the masters of the universe who control everything while the Democrats control nothing?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

My boss called me on a Saturday to let me know he that due to financial reasons, I was no longer needed effective immediatley. 3 days later, he sends me a text asking about work issues. How do I respond?

After a few moments he returns.

Yes sir it is.